30 Questions Thursday--Part 5

 Happy Valentine's Day!

(For previous 30 Questions Thursdays, use the tags at the right or the little search bar on the upper left.)

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.


I have a very strong memory of sitting on my mom's lap as she was watching "The Secret Storm," her soap opera of choice. Given where we were living at the time, I could've only been maybe two or three years old. I just remember the feel of being on her lap, of feeling her breathing, and watching the opening credits of show. I mostly remember feeling her breathing, and how soft and comfortable and safe I felt. 

 The second memory that pops to mind is not soft, comfortable, or safe! When I was turning five, we were building our new house out in the country. And I mean, literally, we were building it. My Dad and Mom had decided to do a "back to nature" thing and my Dad was determined to build as much of our house with his own two hands as possible--never mind that he wasn't a contractor nor an architect. But he'd read a lot of books about it. Given that, he actually did a remarkably good job--it kept us warm and dry for many a year, even if it was never finished. I have a lot of memories of the building of that house, but specifically I recall the pouring of the concrete in the basement floor. Dad had my older sibs helping with rakes and shovels to smooth out the concrete as it was being poured--there were planks criss-crossing the framework every which way to give everyone a dry place to stand and walk as they were doing their work. I'm sure I'd been warned many times to stay out of the way, but as five-year-olds do, I was determined to be right in the action. And, of course, I slipped off one of the planks as I was running and my foot plunked right down into the wet cement. I remember Dad grabbing me as fast as he could and carrying me in his arms as he ran up the hill to where the trailer we were living in was so that he could rinse off my foot before the concrete set. I thought of it all as a grand adventure. I'm sure my Dad remembered it quite differently!

The third memory is more of a montage of scenes around a theme flashing through my mind: My Mom and my sisters and I trying to shove cows back into the pasture. Seems like that was a general past-time. We only had one cow at a time--we'd raise it for a year, then it would feed us for another year as we raised the next one. My friends used to ask if we were sad when it came time to move the cow along into the next life--and I used to respond, "No, by the time it's time has come, I'm ready to see that dang thing go!" Cows are stupid, and cows are stubborn. Or perhaps they're cleverly stubborn. Anyway, they managed to work our last nerve on a regular basis. Our fence wasn't electrified, just barbed wire. The cow would lean against it to reach the grass on the other side, eventually managing to knock it down, and then it would just casually wander out into the yard. One of us would notice it wasn't where it was supposed to be, and we'd call in the rest of the troops. Mom would haul on the halter strap and the rest of us (four girls) would lean as hard as we could into that cow's rear end--and dang if that thing wouldn't just plant its feet and refuse to budge. So many cows...so many shoving matches. Sigh.  


21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
The power to shove really, really hard--and I'd go back in time and get all those dang cows back in the pasture quickly like a bunny.

Okay, really...

Probably teleportation. It would be so super-cool to just show up wherever I wanted without having to deal with flying coach. 


22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?


In five years, I'll be in much the same place doing much the same things. In 10 years, it's within the realm of possibility that I could be grandmothering. That would be cool. In 15 years, I'll be within a few years of retirement and hopefully making some grand plans! 

 I know that may all sound terribly dull--don't I have ambitious goals for things to accomplish and ways my life will be wildly different? Not particularly. I like my life very much. And what  I've learned in 47 years of living is that whatever I think will happen is not likely to, and what actually does happen is something I've never imagined. So I keep my eyes and ears open, but basically just enjoy the flow.


23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

Oh, this is such a gimmie.



First: Yep, there would be that quilting thing. Although I'd quibble with whether I call that a "hobby" or not. But I did an entire episode on the nuance of "art", "craft", and "hobby" so I won't go into that now. Why do I love it? So many reasons: connection to my mother;connection to my ancestors (I'm at least 6th generation so I'm carrying on quite a heritage); the social network that develops--many of my besties now are people I've met through quilting; the fact that there's ALWAYS something new to learn and new to try and fun new things to play with; the opportunity to play with color and shapes when most of my day is spent with words and numbers; creative expression in general; spiritual expression on occasion; and I could go on...

 Second: Writing, although I don't do near as much of that as I'd like to and should. I spend too much time quilting, really. But when I've allowed myself the time to get deep into writing fiction, I absolutely love losing myself in a time, space, and people that only start with something in my imagination and then grow from there, surprising me with who pops up and what they do next.

 Third: Reading. Is that a hobby? I guess maybe someone needs to give me a really, really good definition of hobby--whenever I name something as a "hobby" I always find myself thinking, "but is that really a hobby?" Hmm. Things to ponder when I'm awake at 3 a.m., I guess. In any case, I'm a voracious reader. Even cereal boxes are fair game. 

 Fourth: Photography, although this ebbs and flows. I enjoy doing it; sometimes I do a lot of it, then I can go through months of not picking up my camera except for utilitarian purposes. That's something I always think, "When I'm retired...." I'd like to own a digital SLR with all the lenses and filters but haven't bought one yet because I don't want to haul it around with me. So I guess that means I'm not a "real" photographer, heh heh.

 Fifth: Travel. Is that a hobby? But my husband and I often spend evenings tossing around ideas for places we'd like to go next. By the way, our next trip? New Orleans in March. Can't wait. 

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.





So here's an example:

When each of my sibs and I turned 12, my dad took whichever of us was the birthday kid that year on a week-long camping trip in the Adirondacks as sort of a "coming of age" thing. I didn't really question why he did it at the time--I was the youngest, so I just recall thinking, "it's MY year this year! Yipee!" It felt like it was a benchmark of some sort, even though I didn't really know what it was a benchmark of. Dad was a big fan of Thoreau, though, so I'm sure in his head it was a way of marking our coming of age by getting back to the land, connected to nature, and all that. I really enjoyed my week on the island with Dad, although (see above) there wasn't a whole lot of talking going on. Mostly reading and writing and hiking. But it was a good memory. I didn't feel like I'd grown older or learned anything particularly through the experience. I think I had more of a sense of now knowing the secret handshake that my sibs all knew--I was part of the club of "Those Who Had Camped with Dad." And I had my carved walking stick to prove it.

My sisters continued the tradition with their kids--taking them on a trip to the Adirondacks when the kids were 12, and Grandpa went with them.

When my son was coming up on his 12th birthday, my father had recently passed away. As Ben approached his birthday, I kept telling my husband, "you should really take him camping!" This treasured memory of mine seemed an important tradition to carry on. My husband loves camping and was willing to go for it, but my son wasn't interested. "Mom, I'm in Boy Scouts. We go camping all the time. Why would I want to go camping for my birthday?" I kept pestering him about it and he kept saying, "Why do I have to do that?" So we sat down and talked about what that camping experience actually meant, and I realized it was really about my dad trying to stay connected with each of us as we moved from childhood into adolescence and on into our teenage years. It was to mark that this was a special time. "So, Ben, what would mark this as a special time for you?" I asked. "A weekend in New York City!" he answered immediately. So that was it: His dad and he went to NYC for a weekend; took in a Rangers game, ate at restaurant that featured as much meat as you could want (a big deal for an almost 13-year-old, by the time they went on their trip), and generally had a great time being guys-about-town.

For my daughter's birthday a couple of years later, she chose a spa day with me. Honestly, I'm not sure I even suggested a camping trip since I don't enjoy the camping thing as much now as I did when I was a kid. But we had a really nice day being women together, and talking about women things. I look forward to more spa days with my daughter in the future. Bonding over facials. Gotta love it.

And so we change our traditions to fit the times and needs of the current generation. 




 
 Coming soon...

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

30 Questions Thursday, Part 3

(For previous 30 Questions Thursdays, use the tags at the right or the little search bar on the upper left.)

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

Strangely, the first one that comes to mind is when I was in first grade. Back then, wrap-around clothes were all the rage: wrap-around skirts, culottes, etc. I was wearing a pair of wrap-around shorts/skort that my mother had made me. To put these on, there were two pairs of strings. You held it up to your front and tied around the back, then pulled it between your legs and to the back, then wrapped it over your backside back around to the front and secured it in the front with another set of ties. It ended up looking like shorts in the back and a little bit of a skirt thing in the front. 

 We'd been playing on the playground for recess and I came running in when the bell rang. Somehow I didn't notice that the ties on the front of my skorts or whatever they were called had come undone, and I raced into the classroom with the back of my outfit dragging on the floor, my little undies visible for all to see. My teacher had to come over and help me get everything put back together. 

 Fortunately, time has dulled the memory of the humiliation. However, I don't think I ever wore those shorts again. And when wrap-around skirts came back into fashion when I was in late-high-school/early college, I hated wearing them because they tended to blow open and be a bit...revealing...shall we say, and brought back that first-grade memory.

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
  • Ignorance. Not people who haven't had a chance to learn, but people who refuse to.
  • Arrogance. Those who think they're all that and a bag of chips work my very last nerve. A little humility works wonders.
  • Taking up space. I hate going to the grocery store and getting stuck behind people who park their carts in the middle of the aisle when they could easily pull to one side or the other, or people who walk two or three abreast very slowly down the middle of the sidewalk forcing me to duck and dodge, or sitting next to guys (strangers) on airplanes who spread their legs out so I'm crammed into a corner to keep from getting too intimate with my knees.
  • People invading my personal bubble, as my daughter would say. This is similar to the above--but people who put their face too close to mine when talking really wig me out. This doesn't happen as much now but when I was a kid and adults would lean down and get really close to me to talk to me just made me feel like shrinking into the floor.
  • My kids leaving "floaters" all over the house. This may just be a family name for this, but when someone drinks half a can of pop (soda) and walks away, that's a floater. When my kids were home, I'd find floaters in the family room, the basement, the computer room...drove me nuts. Trying to get them to take their cans to the sink and rinse them out was a never-ending battle. I still end up picking up floaters now after they've gone back to their dorms/apartments. 
  • Commercials. Thank God for DVRs and the fact I can buzz through them now. 
  • People who get onto airplanes smelling like a bar floor. Yes, I've sat next to a few of them on long flights and had had to work hard not to get sick. (I don't mean someone who's had a drink or two in the airport; I mean people who were clearly up drinking all night and poured themselves onto the early flight the next morning--smelling like stale beer, sweat, and lord knows what else. Stomach-turning.)
  • Those who act like technology is the devil's tool. I'm tired of having conversations about whether or not computers have killed face-to-face relationships. My social circle has greatly expanded plus I'm able to be so much more closely in touch with my kids and sibs via texting, social networking, videocalls, and so forth, than I would have back when all we had was the phone. And it's not just a generational thing: When my mother was alive, she and I would talk on the phone, but we'd also text and chat. She had a Facebook account. (Still does, in fact--did you know you have to send Facebook a copy of the death certificate to get a Facebook profile removed? We still haven't gotten around to that four years later.) She was a gadget girl and enjoyed learning new technologies. Go, Mom.
  • Not sure I can come up with two more. I had to really think about it to get the eight I've already listed. I'm not sure I'd call all of those "pet peeves" but more, "occasional annoyances." I try to be a pretty zen person most of the time.

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
Wake up; have a lot of coffee while doing some professional, spiritual, creativity-motivating, or quilty reading; finally eat breakfast (my stomach has to wake up first); take the rest of my coffee and go upstairs to my home office to work thinking I'll just check email and then grab a shower; hours later realize what time it's gotten to be and stop for lunch--usually not until early afternoon--then take a shower and get dressed during my lunch break since I'd lost track of needing to do that earlier; finish work; and (if I'm being healthy) go to the gym or (more usually, when I'm not being as healthy) work on some quilting project while waiting for my husband to get home; sometimes start getting dinner ready before he gets home but usually wait until after I see him walk in the door because after he's called me to tell me he's leaving his office as often as not he gets stopped in the hallway by someone and it's another half hour before he actually heads for the parking lot; have dinner; watch TV with husband but read magazines or play games with daughter on my iPad while she's away at school or some sort of hand-quilting project or whatever because I'm constitutionally unable to simply sit and watch TV without doing something else at the same time; go to bed far too late and read for awhile. 

If husband is out of town, which happens a lot, scratch everything after work from "getting dinner ready" through "watch TV" and change it to "work on quilting project, grab leftovers for dinner, quilt some more, go to bed far too late." I'm also usually out at least one night a week for something or other.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
  • Math. I hate math--I actually believe in "math trauma." I have terrible memories of a math teacher in early elementary school who was very "old school" in her approach to teaching and would highlight kids who weren't doing as well in front of their peers by saying things like, "Because Sandy didn't get this, we're all going to do it again." My husband doesn't get why I don't get math because my brain is, in so many ways, very systematic and logical and math should come easily, but my brain just has a block. And it makes my stomach hurt to do it.
  • I can get very task-oriented when I'm overly stressed, which usually doesn't help the people around me. I can quickly go into "heads-down, blinders-on, let's get 'er done" mode while some people are still struggling to catch up with what the issue is in the first place. I really have to watch myself and take a deep breath, then wait for awhile for things to play out a bit to see what actually needs to happen.
  • I can tend to avoid conflict, although it depends on the kind of conflict. If it only affects me, I usually avoid it. If it affects others--depending on the situation--I am more willing to confront it. If it affects a project I'm working on or a group dynamic or a process, I'm perfectly comfortable dealing with it. 
  • As my husband says, I can sometimes sound more intense than I really am. I have a naturally deadpan expression and a tone of voice that can come across as being intense when the reality is, I can just as easily go one way or the other on the given question. I've really had to learn how to say things like, "I don't really have an opinion on this but I'd probably want to think through X," or "I'm thinking out loud here" (and have had to teach myself to think out loud, see below). I've also had to teach myself to laugh out loud at my own jokes when speaking publicly--the deadpan thing mixed with a very dry humor means a lot of times people don't know when I'm being funny versus serious. It's genetic. My oldest sister, also a pastor and with about 10 years of experience on me, was the one that coached me to do this when I first started preaching. "People don't always know when we DeMotts are joking, so we have to cue them. 'See, I'm laughing--that means you can laugh now too!'"
  • Because I'm an introvert, there are a lot of people who have used words like "arrogant," "aloof," "disinterested," "unemotional" and the like to describe me. That's not at all true. I'm extremely interested in you and very, very curious about the world. I won't necessarily ask you about your life, not because I'm not interested in knowing, but simply because I have a very high sense of privacy and always assume that if you wanted me to know, you'd tell me. I'm being quiet because I'm observing, not because I'm judging or aloof. I like to formulate what I'm going to say before saying it; I do have emotions but don't choose to share them unless I've known you for a very long time. (All the extraverts reading this are thinking, "But you should get over that!" All the introverts reading this are nodding their heads and saying, "Yep, people have said those things about me too." LOL) I don't view my introvert nature as a weakness--indeed, there are a lot of strengths to it. However, I do view some of how it comes across in group settings, some of the "symptoms," as it were, as something I've really had to become highly aware of, and learn to compensate for, in order to be more effective in my vocation and in social terms. Hence, I'm always exhausted after being around people for awhile--I've had to spend most of that time working against nature. No matter how much I'm enjoying you and how much fun I'm having, you're wearing me out. So please don't get offended if I disappear into a quiet room or take a walk by myself for half an hour to regroup. :-) 
    •  By the way, one of the outcomes of my specific Myers-Briggs personality type (and yes--I found this listed in a book as common with folks like me!) is that I'm terrible at remembering names. That IS a weakness. My BIL is fantastic at remembering names of people he only met once years ago, and I've always been super-envious of that ability!

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
  • See some of the paragraph above: I keep things confidential and have a very high sense of ethics, professionally and personally. I may not always ask you what's wrong, but if you tell me, it'll stay with me. 
  • I'm intensely curious and love to learn new things. Learning about people, places, techniques, history, science.... It doesn't entirely matter what I'm learning, I'm just enjoying the process of learning. (Well, except math!) 
  • I'm very organized and systematic. I can easily see how to set up a process for just about anything that needs to get done. I can change the process on the fly if it needs to be changed, but I like to start somewhere. 
  • I'm very loyal. I'm not blind to faults--but I'm loyal anyway. When we watched Law and Order together my kids always joked that I wouldn't be the mother who was trying to conceal her kids' crimes--that I'd turn them in on a dime. I always said, "Yes, I would, because you need to be held accountable--but I would love you regardless and stay with you through whatever came after!" I'm loyal to the organization I work for, my quilt guild, my friends, and my family. And my listeners!
  • I love being a part of helping to provide opportunities for people to grow. I absolutely love watching someone discover things they didn't know they knew how to do, or gain new confidence, or whatever. That's my favorite part of my job and, as I've discovered, my favorite part of doing my podcast. I love challenging people to move beyond what they think they're capable of and whatever little boxes they've put themselves in (or others have put them in). That just jazzes me no end. I get a little thrill just thinking about it.
Wow--this week was hard!







15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

30 Questions Thursday (Part 2)

 For questions 1-4, click here.

I had fun reading your comments to my first 30 Questions Thursday post--there are a few other folks out there who play flute and are afraid of heights! Please keep responding, or if you post your own 30 Questions answers let us know the links to your blog entry.


5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
     1. At the moment, my space heaters. It's way chilly outside.
     2. My husband*
     3. My son*
     4. My daughter*
     5. Expanding my mind.

*Since, arguably, numbers 2-4 could all be lumped under one response as "my happy little nuclear family," which would also then throw a couple of dogs into the mix, I'll also add here: quilting, chocolate, friends. The order of how happy these things are making me would vary within any given hour of any given day.

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced? Math. Kidding. Childbirth. But that ultimately turned out okay. The loss of each of my parents. Still miss them terribly.

7. What is your dream job, and why? I've always wanted to live in a cabin in the woods, or in a cozy cottage on the beach, or a palatial estate somewhere in the UK, and be a writer. Sure, I could be a writer anywhere--but why not have a stunningly beautiful view out the window while I'm doing it?

8. What are 5 passions you have?
     1. Quilting, rather obviously. 
     2. My family
     3. Global women's issues (poverty, economic empowerment, justice, maternal health, etc.)
     4. Education--my own ongoing education, that of my children, and equal opportunity for education for all worldwide (see #3)
     5. Travel, although it seems rather odd to say I have a passion for travel. But I do thoroughly enjoy it and my husband and I prioritize it--we'll give up other things before we'll give up travel--and I encourage my kids to do it. I think it's related to #4 as well--no better way to learn about the world and other people living in it than to get out and see it!

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
     1. My mother--I've learned much of my pragmatic, "get 'er done" attitudes and skills from her. My Dad dreamed the dreams, my Mom made the dreams work in real life. I also learned how to plan conferences from Mom, since she was part of a small group that founded and hosted a big annual quilt conference for many years. I got the gift of hospitality from my Mom as well--I love welcoming people to my home, cooking for them, and having them be comfortable and happy. (I never learned Mom's trick, however, of being able to stretch a meal to accommodate 10 extra people with only 15 minutes notice since Dad or us kids were always inviting people over at the last minute.) Mom baked all of our bread and canned all season long. Eventually that worked its way back around to me wanting to join a CSA and eat local. I still don't can, though. Not only did I learn how to quilt from my Mom, but I witnessed the joy that creativity brought to her and the deep and abiding friendships she had from within the quilting community, and wanted those things for myself. I also look and act a whole heck of a lot more like her the older I get. 

     2. My father--Dad could also be pragmatic but he was more of an idealist. He spent his life committed to teaching and practicing conflict resolution with the dream that world peace was actually possible, even within his own lifetime. Dad was also big into creativity--although I don't know if this came more from one or the other parent or--most likely--a combo package. Dad just went about it in a unique way. He wanted to learn how to throw pots, so he built himself a potter's wheel with a big ol' cement base he poured himself. He wanted to learn how to tool leather, so he not only bought the tools but tanned his own leather (we had a small subsistence farm so our dinner also became Dad's briefcase). He wanted to learn how to polish stones and, from there, we also made our own jewelry. He wanted to learn how to weave so he built himself his own loom. He wanted to make maple syrup so he carved his own taps out of wood and his own yoke out of a large tree branch, strapped buckets over his shoulders with the yoke, and hiked off into the woods to collect sap. Then steamed up the house boiling the sap on our basement stove. (It was years later I learned most people made syrup in outbuildings. Not us. We were well humidified at certain times of year.) He made wine--dandelion wine, elderberry wine--in our basement. He didn't just build us a treehouse with his own hands--he built us our family home, with his own hands. Dad liked to be intimately involved with everything he did from the tiniest nail to the roof, literally and figuratively speaking. From both parents I get my values and ideals, my priority on the importance of family, and the desire to nurture creativity in myself and others. I did not, however, get the yen to boil sap on my stove.

 3. My husband--My husband and I met when I was 19 and got married when I was 22. We more or less grew up together. Although our marriage works because we each allow one another to be fundamentally ourselves, we also have undoubtedly influenced who each other became in the last 25 years. For which I am eternally grateful.

4 and 5 are my kids. Being a mother has definitely focused my priorities and has both tried my patience and given me more patience. As I watch who my kids have become I'm able to identify things in both of them that I can trace directly to one side of the family or the other, or one family member or another, but they each have qualities uniquely theirs that I think are just the coolest thing going and I wish I had me some of that. 

6. My in-laws. In the key ways that count, my husband's family of birth is like mine--when we first met and spent hours talking, we laughed about how similar our family vacation stories were. However, in some ways our families are very different--and yes, some of that took both of us years to get used to and we still occasionally run into it. But being part of another family for almost 30 years does rub off on you, and I know there are ways I do some things now that are more directly related to my husband's family than my own.

7. I guess here I'd have to lump in a whole bunch of friends--some of whom I've had for many, many years, others who are newer. But they each match something in me and, at the same time, challenge something in me to help me continue to grow and expand. I read somewhere that the best friendships are those that help us become more than we would be otherwise, or something along those lines. I've definitely got a few friends that fall into that category. 

 8. I had an English teacher in high school who was very supportive of my writing. His comments on the margins of my papers were always very positive and constructive, and I often let him read things I'd written just for fun, which he enjoyed (or, at least, said he did). He encouraged me to start a creative writing club and agreed to serve as its advisor. We were a small group and the club only lasted a year or so, but the fact that I had that kind of support from a teacher at a time (adolescence) when you're mostly barraged with negative feedback was memorable. Unfortunately, he died from cancer not too long after I graduated--still a relatively young man with a couple of children left behind. I do wish every kid could point to a teacher who was supportive and helped imbue in them a love of learning or feelings of success. 

9. There are two or three senior women of my acquaintance of whom I often say, "I want to be her when I grow up." They are so gentle, kind, wise, and funny. They have such a great perspective on life--about what is important and what isn't worth the energy to get upset about. Their commitment is genuine and deep, and they just make me feel good to be in their presence. I pray every day that I'll be a content, joyful, thankful senior woman and not someone embittered by life that is difficult to be around. I cement these women in my memory so that when I reach a certain age and catch myself being snarky, I can call one of their faces to mind and say, "What would Jean do?" or "What would Sally do?" or "What would Miss Mary do?" and take my cues from there.

10.  For number 10, I'll say, "everyone else." Really, how can I narrow it down to 10 people who have influenced me? Every member of my extended family on both sides has influenced me in some way or another; Every woman I've had the privilege to serve with in my job has influenced me; Every author I've read, every teacher I've had, every professor, and so forth. Even coming up with the 9 I've already listed was tough only because for each one beyond my parents, husband, and kids, I was finding myself thinking, "Yeah, but what about this one or that one or the other one I'm not listing?" If we're not daily influenced in some way by the people who cross our paths, we're not growing and becoming. 

 That's it for today. Whew! These were long ones!

 Coming up:
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

30 Questions Thursday

I followed a few links recently (thanks to Nonnie) and decided it would be fun to play along with this. From what I can tell, the original came from here. I believe I saw this (or a version of it) swimming around Facebook awhile back. But to give myself something to blog about on a regular basis, I decided to work my way through these lists. I originally intended to do one a day in January but, unfortunately, January was halfway gone before I found the time to blog. Instead, I've decided to declare Thursday as "30 Questions Thursday" and do a few a week until I've worked through all of them.


1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
  1. I was an English Lit major in college.
  2. I played flute for many years.
  3. I stopped playing flute when I got pregnant with my son because it aggravated my morning sickness (IOW, it made me want to throw up--but then, everything did back then).
  4. I haven't really played flute much to speak of since. 
  5. I would love to start playing flute again. 
  6. I am a dog person.
  7. I am a cat person.
  8. I basically like anything furry, and some reptiles.
  9. Birds and insects don't do much for me, though.
  10. Not in cages, anyway. I like birds outside. Insects I could take or leave.
  11. It seems too easy to say "I'm a quilter." Y'all probably know that already.
  12. The book that made me fall in love with the written word as a child was Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame. That's when I realized how lovely language could be.
  13. I came to my love of clean, neat, organized spaces as an adult. I wasn't particularly that way as a child.
  14. Which made me only somewhat more patient with my own kids' lack of love of clean, neat, organized spaces. 
  15. But I still yelled once in awhile.
  16. I love Disney World in Orlando.
  17. I especially loved it more the older my kids got. You lose the magic, but you gain in relaxation and really enjoying it together as a family on a different level.
  18. I plan on taking my kids and grandkids there, if and when grandkids ever become part of the picture.
  19.  I've more recently developed a real love of creative cooking without recipes. Which drives my family nuts because if they really like something, they're unlikely to get exactly that version again.
  20. My kids have reached an age where we no longer refer to it as parenting or (less respectfully) nagging, but, rather, life coaching. "Son, I'm about to do a little coaching." Somehow that makes it easier for them to hear. Why didn't I think of that when they were 13?

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
  1. I'm afraid of the dark. That's legitimate because it's, well, dark. Things can hide there. Icky things with big teeth or, worse, guns and knives. I don't know how it became a fear since I've been afraid of the dark for as long as I remember. 
  2. I'm afraid of heights. That one I do know when it started: I was fine with heights until I fell off a 10' balcony when I was around 11 or so. My family home had a second-story balcony off the back of the house. My dad built our house himself (literally, bare hands, with very little outside help). He was not a construction guy or anything--he was a college professor that simply loved to do everything himself. The balcony railings were, at the time, 2x4s nailed horizontally between the posts holding the balcony roof up. We weren't supposed to lean against them and most of the time I remembered that. But one of my sister's friends who was playing outside with her had gotten a phone call and I ran out to the balcony to holler out to her to come inside to answer it; I leaned against the railing and out over to see around the corner. I remember hearing the railing come loose, and then it was sort of like a cartoon where the horizon stays stable for a moment and then suddenly everything drops. I landed sitting on my ankle. I was very fortunate that all that happened was a sprained ankle. (Wrought iron railings were installed shortly thereafter.) But from then on, whenever I've been on a height, the bottom of my feet start aching and I freeze and get short of breath. I've even had panic attacks. I tried to do a high ropes course as part of a team to get over the fear and had a complete melt-down--and, in fact, that experience only aggravated the fear now. I've decided it's a fear I can live with. If my life were at stake, I trust that adrenalin would kick in and I'd do what I need to do. Meanwhile, no more high ropes courses. (I do climb up on my kitchen counters every year to put my Christmas village on the top of my kitchen cabinets. I don't like doing it, but it gets done. So the fear of heights isn't completely debilitating!)
  3. Like a lot of people, I do have a fear of failure. But I can deal with that pretty easily. It's not nearly as bad as my fear of heights!
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
I had a great relationship with both parents. They both encouraged creativity; they encouraged us to be individuals. They weren't big on telling me what to do, most of the time--pretty much helped me just figure things out for myself once I hit about middle school or so. I was more comfortable talking to my mom than my dad but that was probably more a generational thing--Mom was around more and interacted with us more directly, although Dad was very present as well. Dad was a great storyteller and taught me what it means to have passion for a cause; Mom taught me how to make that passion work in the real world. The older I get, the more I turn into my Mom, although I'm also very aware of certain parts of my personality that are just Dad all over. And then there's a lot that's just me. Dad passed away in 2001 and Mom in 2009. I miss them both.
 
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
  1. That guy you think was all that and a bag of chips? Not so much. Stop sweating that he doesn't even know you're alive. There's a really, really great guy that you'll meet just three years from now. Be patient.
  2. You're right that you feel different from everyone else. You learn later that your personality type is only something like 5% of the population and that answered a whole LOT of questions. But you know what? That's okay. You'll still find plenty of people that love you and that you can love! And you'll learn to appreciate and make your wierdisms work for you--and then you'll also be able to help your daughter deal with it when she inherits the same basic personality.
  3. Keep writing. You love it, and you'll miss it later.
  4. Don't be as intense about everything. Wait--I'll save my breath on that one. Adolescence is defined as "intense." Go ahead and be intense. Just know that eventually it all gets a lot easier when the hormones stop flying. And yes, life really is unfair. Or, rather, fairness is in the eye of the beholder sometimes.
  5. Keep riding your bike. That's another thing you really love right now that you'll really miss later. And later, you could really use the exercise!
  6. Appreciate how thin you are now rather than worrying about what size jeans you're wearing compared to your friends. You're in good shape! That's another thing you'll really miss later!
  7. Stay out of the sun. 
  8. Those couple of besties you have now that sometimes you get aggravated with? News flash: They're still your besties 30 years from now. I know--who'd a thunk it, right?
  9. Clean your room. (Yes, you do become your Mom a few years from now!)
  10. You have a unique and beautiful family environment that at times is embarrassing, at times painful, at times annoying, but admittedly, quite often a whole lot of fun. Appreciate it and just know that every bit of that makes you who you become when you're 47 and are sitting there writing a blog post to your 16-year-old self.
 (Questions to come in following weeks)
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.